MY HELPLESSNESS

My Helplessness

Hazur Maharaj Ji is my Master. I am privileged to have been accepted by Him. He put me on the path of Bhajan and Simran. He lighted the torch of Divine love in my heart. He is the Lord God to whom I should be devoted all the time.

Baba Ji says that it is through daily Bhajan and Simran and His constant rememberance that we must honor Him every moment. I am very conscious that I must make sincere efforts in doing what is required of me. But I finally fail to abide by His instructions. I plead my helplessness….

Maharaj Ji says that He is very near and dear to all of us all the time. He assures us that He is never far from us. I sometimes feel that He is within me. But sometimes that feeling evades me. There is a vacuum and void in my inner being. He appears to be someone very remote to whom I can never meet. Helpless I am….

He knows what is best for me. I know He is the Master of my destiny. But still I want things to be contrived as per my wishes and desires. I pray to Him to change situations for my convenencies. I feel sad if He does not listen to my demands. I pray for strength and patience for going through His Will. Mind is not at peace during those turbulent times. Helpless I am….

Something in me appears to have changed. The conventional values of this society do not appeal me. Misfit I am with the people around me - a square peg in the round hole. An attitude of reclusiveness bothers me. My spiritual yearning has not yielded any results. I neither belong to this world nor the other that I cherish. Lost I am in a state of helplessness…

I try to abide by the vows of initiations. Many times my will power crumbles. I resolve not to fall prey to infatuations of mind and matter. I repeat those mistakes. I seek Master’s forgiveness again and again. Ashamed and helpless I am….

Baba Ji very graciously gives Satsang. He also gives His darshan. But I am not focused on Him. Even in weekly Satsangs, mind takes its own flights of fancies. I regret that I am not able to pay attention to even the precious words of Saints. I remain lost in the confusion of this world and daily life. Regrettably helpless I am….

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by momentary gratitude for Hazur and Baba Ji for having taken this worthless creature under His benign fold. He has maintained a veil on sins and vices of a person who is not honorable in conduct and conviction. Helpless I am…. can just beg for His mercy and grace.

Master, make me worthy of thee. Master, make me worthy of thee. I would like to become worthy of thee. This is the prayer of my soul.The words of Gurbani hit my heart—RAJ NO CHAHOON, MUKT NA CHAHOON, MAN PREET CHARN KAMLA RE. “Neither Imperial Sovereignty, nor Mukti do I need. For thy Lotus feet do I pray, my Master.


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